Parenting, Relating & the Wisdom of Chakras

how the Chakra System can be used As Insight into Relating with Children and Young Adults

By Valerie D’Ambrosio

When we were discussing what topic to focus on in the Coaching Corner of The Shakti Journal this season, the topics of chakras, parenting and children were all on the table. We decided we would create a series initiating conversation and inquiry into the chakras, their qualities and their developmental stages, with the hope of offering insight to parents and anyone working with children or young adults.  

Having had over two decades of experience working with both parents and children from the ages of 12 to young adult, my intention for this series is to offer you an opportunity to ponder the information and see how it lands in your own self and how it might be applicable within your relationships.

This first segment will begin this series by covering some basic information about chakras. The Sanskrit word ‘chakra’  means spinning wheel or disc. Chakras are hidden fields of energy within the body that carry our emotions, urges and habits as well as the imprints of all that has happened to us throughout life.

‘The developmental stages throughout the chakra system are the ages when that particular chakra is formed. When a certain chakra is triggered, it can bring up unconscious memories from that age causing us to react as if the experience was happening again.’

In uncovering the chakras, just like everything, there is a light side and a shadow side. In my opinion, wisdom exists in both aspects. Actually, I believe the shadow is where much of one’s wisdom lies. In our discussion around the chakra system we will address both the shadow and the light and how our shadow is often our greatest teacher. If we are willing to look inward, it can offer us what is essential for our soul’s evolution.

I personally do not believe there is a separation between the mind and the body; the body remembers everything and all of our memories are stored on a cellular level. We are souls having a human experience and when we choose to live consciously, we have the opportunity to look at the experiences in our lives that were challenging or even tragic, from a ‘higher perspective’ that can offer new insight and growth. 

Essentially, we learn we weren’t victim to them, nor were we responsible for changing them. When we start to view life from this lens, we can begin to release any energy which has become stuck or stagnant in our lives and our bodies. We begin to acknowledge our soul essence instead of the story of ourselves and we move towards greater acceptance and peace. 

Everything is energy—our words, our thoughts, our bodies, your computer and the trees outside, everything resonates at a vibrational frequency. The experience of catabolic or lower frequencies translates to low energy and feeling drained, tired or lethargic. Anabolic or higher frequencies can translate to feelings of being fluid, open, receptive and lighthearted. There is no good or bad energy, it’s all just a part of the human experience. 

When we cultivate an awareness of our own personal energy which is expressed in the words we speak and the actions we take, since they all resonate at a unique frequency we begin to see how we are directing ourselves toward ease or dis-ease in any moment. Mind you, we can only be responsible for ourselves. What I mean by that is that paying attention to and becoming aware of our tendencies, behaviors, beliefs will absolutely affect our energy and impact others’. However, what they choose to do with that is their responsibility.

Again, cellular memory means that our cells can store experiences whether positive or traumatic. When something occurs that echoes an impactful situation from the past, we can feel in an instant that we are back in that moment. On a cellular level, the feelings from that time chemically flood our body and feel so real.

Neuroscientists have shown that the conscious mind typically accounts for only 5% or less of our cognitive activity during the day. Dr. Bruce Lipton, an internationally recognized stem cell biologist and best-selling author says that the unconscious mind operates at 40 million bits of data per second, whereas the conscious mind processes only 40 bits per second. 

So the unconscious mind is much more active and powerful than the conscious mind. It is the unconscious mind which really shapes how we live our lives. It is valuable to understand, since we are typically operating from at least 95% our unconscious mind, that someone or something, even a smell or sound, can mentally trigger us into a different time in our lives as if we are time traveling.

The developmental stages throughout the chakra system are the ages when that particular chakra is formed. When a certain chakra is triggered, it can bring up unconscious memories from that age causing us to react as if the experience was happening again. It is common that dis-ease can manifest in the physical body from this cycle repeating over time. In turn, we unconsciously create survival mechanisms to not feel that certain thing again. 

In learning to survive we either show up excessively, increasing our energy in order to deal with the perceived problem or threat, or deficiently, decreasing our energy in order to get away from the perceived problem or threat. When these coping strategies are used repeatedly over time, they create chakra imbalances.

How this Coaching Series on the chakras will work is that in each edition I will share about a chakra, its sanskrit name, the area of the body with which it is associated and the corresponding developmental stage. The color associated with it, the traumas and abuses which may have caused an imbalance, and how it can show up both excessively and deficiently are all important clues to what that chakra can teach us. I will also point you in a direction through a story where you can potentially find your own insights unique to your own life.

I believe we are in constant relationship with everything in life, yet most of us weren’t taught to have healthy relationships, especially with ourselves. This lack of healthy connection can lead us to move through life with greater frustration, stress and even depression, or cause us to dissociate from our body.

What I get to do as a coach is point people to discover something different—something which is available and within them in all moments. When we begin to see our own innate wellbeing as existing exactly as we are, we can accept our humanness more fully. The perfection we think we need in order to be happy and feel worthy no longer seems important and we are able to access more joy and ease in all areas of our life.

The ‘negative’ qualities which we were taught to judge or condemn begin to have less and less of an impact on our general wellbeing. We begin to learn that we don’t need to feel this innate wellbeing in every single moment to know that it’s still true. We are then capable of experiencing the full range of our human experience with a deeper trust that we are okay in it all.

I am not pretending to be a Guru, or that I have it all figured out. As dedicated to this path as I am, my neurotic tendencies still pop up now and again. I can get tethered to perfectionist habits of thought that stream through, attempting to convince me that I’m not enough unless I do more. But my relationship with myself is still kinder and more gentle as I move through my life, and I don’t take myself or those tendencies too seriously.

My personal mission is to draw out the innate wisdom within you so you can connect more deeply with your magnificence and develop a greater trust in yourself and life. Understanding the chakra system may or may not be a way in which you gain insight on yourself or your relationships. With that said, I am grateful you have taken the time to consider this enough to read this far, and I wish you ease, joy, self compassion and a sense of humor as you allow your journey to unfold.

If you feel drawn to play and evolve with me on this journey, reach out for a 30 minute Discovery Session at

With love and butterfly kisses, Valerie

Valerie D’Ambrosio

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